eating intuitively with medical restrictions

Eating intuitively with medical restrictions is one of my favorite conversations right now. Mostly because two years ago I didn't think it was remotely possible to eat intuitively with medical restrictions.

I thought I had to choose EITHER intuitive eating OR eating according to a restriction-based plan (like Paleo or the autoimmune protocol). And, no matter which camp I choose in any given season, I felt judged.

Judged by the recovery world for following a "diet".
Judged by the paleo world for eating anything that wasn't clean. 

I felt like I had to make a choice: my mental health (intuitive eating) or my physical health (the autoimmune protocol).

In case you're new here, I have an autoimmune disease named Takayasu's Arteritis. It's characterized by inflammation of the blood vessels and I currently take Humira to manage my symptoms. After my diagnosis, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. Read more here if you're curious.

​So when, about two years ago, I considered the autoimmune protocol as a way to support Takayasu's naturally (and attempt a decrease in medication), I was skeptical. Although I felt the excitement at a possible natural solution, or at least another avenue to explore, I also felt incredibly resentful.

Because no matter which way you roll the dice, the autoimmune protocol is strict. It's restrictive, it's all-or-nothing, and it's not at all what I imagined for my life. In fact, after recovering from an eating disorder, I vowed to never diet again. I vowed to never show up to another part either with my own food or with a strong temporary moment of willpower to resist everything in sight. I vowed to never turn down another date with hubby because I didn't want the temptation, to never miss out on another conversation because I was too busy actively ignoring a plate of cookies, and never skip another morning cuddle session because I had to get up and work out. And regardless of how I looked at the autoimmune protocol... it sure looked like a diet. 

As I did more research, I found that (for the most part) my concerns were right. Many people ARE adopting the autoimmune protocol as a diet. Many people ARE living with rules and regulations leading the way. Many conversations around autoimmune disease ARE full of judgment, willpower, and even blame. 

Where are the people who don't want to diet?
Where are the people who don't want to sacrifice mental or soulful well-being?
Where are the people who refuse to diet - and not because they lack willpower?
Where are the people who think eating and living this restrictive IS hard?
Where are the people who think emotionally eating is okay?
Where are the people who recognize there's more to health than just what we eat?

I could keep going, but I think you get my point. Where are these people who want to eat intuitively AND for medical restrictions? They've got to exist, right? It has to be possible, right?

If you've uttered any of these same questions, you're not alone. And, you have finally found a place where you won't be judged. Even better? The answer to your question is... yes, it's totally possible.

After loads of research along with trial + error, here's what I've learned.

Eating for physical AND mental health... eating intuitively for medical restrictions or following the AIP or Paleo diet... often involves what I call The MERGE Method: (1) Make sure the cause (2) Eat for daily health, (3) Reject the rules, (4) Grow relationship with self, and (5) Extend that relationship.

Here's what I mean!

(1) MAKE SURE THE CAUSE.

Many experts are starting to provide the Paleo Diet or Autoimmune Protocol to those with chronic illness or autoimmune disease. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence in support of these diets. In addition, many of us can agree that eating whole foods is pretty awesome for our health.

However, it’s important to realize that these diets can be adopted without restriction AND that these diets may or may not work for you in particular. 

It's also important to realize you're okay either way -- you did not cause your autoimmune disease and you are not solely in charge of “healing it”. 

Part of the problem in today's society, with increased access to the Internet, is that our doctors and providers aren’t often the ones sending patients home with dietary and lifestyle recommendations. Doctors may suggest natural healing, alternative solutions, or point patients in the direction of resources… or they may not. 

Too often, we're taking our advice from those we find on the Internet, or in bookstores, and self-diagnosing. 

Yes, there are a lot of benefits from self-care, as well as dietary and lifestyle changes. (The Boulevard is built around these benefits.) But, we still want to work with a team of providers we trust. It’s important to explore and experiment under supervision to find the combination of professional care and self-care (or natural care) that works for us. 

Sometimes, we want to go a more natural route for treatment because of the side effects of medication. And, yes, there are side effects of medication. However, there are also side effects of natural healing. It's important to talk about all of the potential risks before making a decision. 

You can choose either route, or any combination of routes. No matter what you decide, you can still value your health. You are no less for choosing medication, possibly because your mental health will benefit or because your symptoms are severe, and you get gold stars for choosing a natural route. We need to MORALLY neutralize these decisions, so that we can choose what’s best for us individually in any given season. 

(If this conversation resonates with you, I wholeheartedly recommend joining The Wellness Boulevard today. You will get immediate access to a class taught by myself and Nicole Ness on the side effects of natural healing and restriction. This is important to understand so that you can make informed decisions about treatment. Join here.)

"Make sure the cause" is the first step of The MERGE Method, a 5-step plan to eating intuitively while eating for medical restrictions, because we need to ensure food is a root cause... rather than another source of stress or inflammation.

Is it really a particular food that causes a certain physical reaction in your body?
And, do you know which food it is?
Are you getting enough food and calories in your body to begin with?
If so, are you getting enough fats, carbohydrates, and proteins?
Does exercise play a role? Are you not exercising enough -- or exercising too much?
Are certain toxins in the home causing certain symptoms?
Might EFT or Reiki help?
What about supplements or emphasis on specific nutrients?
Are you getting enough sun?
Time spent in meditation?
What kind of stress might your career cause? Or your relationships? 

All in all, make sure that food is at the root of your symptoms -- and understand which food(s) in particular. 

Be willing to explore other lifestyle changes that may impact how you feel. Look at how the placebo/nocebo effect might be coming into play. Are you convinced certain foods will leave you feeling bad -- or do they actually cause a reaction in the body? (This starts to bleed into step 2.) 

Note: You might be saying... "But, Kel! What about what the experts say? What about all of the people who made dietary changes and cured issues?" Yes, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence in support of dietary changes. Food may help you feel better. However, I can also share with you anecdotal evidence that "shows" food can have no impact on what you're experiencing. And this anecdotal evidence comes not from folks I've never met on the web but rather from good friends I know personally. So, while it's important to consider food as a trigger... it's also very important we consider other stress-related factors as well.
 
(2) EAT FOR HEALTH; NOT FOR WEIGHT OR CONTROL.

This is a biggie. This involves undoing all of the diet mentality and body image challenges we face... plus it involves letting go of control.

​When I say control, I mean we have to both let go of the desire to control our size (weight) AND the desire to control our health (to eradicate sickness or guarantee "survival".) Because restriction is so often about control, we need to surrender. (This is mindset-based and not necessarily behavior-based.)

So, this is HUGE.

​We can't claim we're eating for our daily "health", for "medical restriction", for "healing", for "remission"... when we're really, secretly, subtly eating for "thinness". We've got to break down the societal barriers, fat phobia and the fear of weight gain -- and recognize thin privilege plus the fear of losing or never have status because of it.

We also can't claim we're eating to feel better... when we're really eating to prevent further sickness or guarantee our survival.  

The problem with diets, including the ones designed not for weight less but for health, is that much of the language explaining these diets and how they “work” call for emotional and physical deprivation as a barrier to entry. 

(I first learned about this concept of emotional deprivation from Isabel Foxen Duke. Read more from her about how binge eating is a biological response to these forms of deprivation.) 

Many experts teach with emotionally-fueled rules leading the way. Many conversations around autoimmune disease, chronic illness, and food sensitivity are full of judgment, willpower, and even blame. 

I know some of you may be shaking your head right now, thinking... "Duh Kel. Of course I'm eating for health not for weight. I want to feel better." And I totally believe you! After all, I've uttered the same sentence and I, too, was eating for health... about 80% of the time.

But that 20%? THAT'S what we've got to talk about. Because more often than not a fear of weight gain or a desire for weight loss is at the core of body image struggles, binge eating, and a disordered relationship to food, diets, and exercise.

In addition, a fear of further sickness or desire for longevity of life can lead to disordered eating such as orthorexia. 

Even if we're eating 80% for our physical, daily health -- for our challenges, ailments, and desires -- we still need to eradicate that last 20%.

It's the only way we can really choose foods that leave us feeling good for the long run. And that choice? That is a big part in what makes the difference between a "diet" and a way of eating.

(3) REJECT THE RULES AND CHOOSE WHAT TO EAT.

Yes, the autoimmune protocol looks like a list of rules. 
Yes, the Whole30 literally lists a bunch of rules. 
Yes, eating Vegan technically includes rules to follow and principles to abide by. 
And yes, even having an allergy to a food includes a rule or two. 

Much of the time, these diets look strict and chock full of restriction and deprivation.

But, if you want to eat for both your physical health and your mental health at the same time... if you want to eat intuitively AND for medical restrictions... if you want to follow a "diet" without feeling restricted or deprived...

... Then we have to stop following the rules. Just throw them at the window. (Along with the scale.) You know the information. You know what generally leaves you feeling good and what generally leaves you feeling not so good. 

Instead of feeling forced to eat certain foods and avoid others, everything becomes a choice. Which means that the effects of what I eat — how I might physically or emotionally feel afterwards — are also a choice.

If I have an allergy or sensitivity to gluten, and I choose something with gluten, then I need to be ok with also choosing the potential physical reaction that comes next. I need to know that morally that's an ok choice to make. (So is not choosing gluten, and choosing to not risk a potential physical reaction.)

There's no more good or bad food.
No more on or off the wagon.
No more rigid, restrictive, only one way to eat.

And because of this, WE are no longer good or bad, right or wrong, love-able or shun-able, depending on what we eat... even if we choose a food that leaves us feeling less than stellar. It all comes back to choice, which has to be made through love (of self and others) rather than fear (of illness or loss) for long-term results.

Now, I choose the word reject for this step because it elicits feelings of action and empowerment. And that's exactly what this is all about. Making empowered choices and decisions by undoing all of the things in #2 and learning about #4.

*Note: As we talk about this, it's important to mention that sensitivities and intolerances or allergies to food vary in degree and severity. 

(4) GROW A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY.

Intuitive eating (a concept I first learned from Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole) can boil down into two things: A choice and a relationship.

The entire point of "intuitive eating" is to cultivate a relationship of nourishment with your body and to choose what you want to eat based on that relationship. 

It's not a diet. 
It's not about eating only when you're hungry and stopping as soon as you're full. 
It's not about following a list of rules or regulations to the tee. 
It's not about doing what everybody else is doing. 
And, intuitive eating is not about eating #allthethings you weren't allowed to have previously.

Instead, intuitive eating is about finding what leaves you feeling good physically, emotionally, and soulfully. Which means that WHAT you eat, and even how much you eat, will evolve all the time. Intuitive eating is about cultivating a relationship with your body, so that you can recognize these things that leave you feeling good -- and be willing to listen.

{Side Note: I talk about intuitive eating here, because it's a somewhat well known way of healing from diet mentality, restriction, and deprivation. It's a way of eating that advocates for mental and emotional health being just as important as physical health. Read the book on intuitive eating here.} 

As you cultivate this relationship with your body by learning your hunger signals, feeling your full signals, and recognizing how your body responds to ALL triggers and experiences in life, you may naturally want to take care of yourself. Then, as you actively care for yourself, you may start to like and maybe even love yourself. (Though that part isn't 100% necessary.) Finally, as you begin to like or at least respect yourself, you may want to eat foods and participate in activities that leave you feeling good. (This mini-relationship formula also works backwards to forwards.)

Even better, as you work to grow and nurture this relationship with your body and yourself, you'll understand that it's not the end of the world if for some reason you can't get what would leave you feeling good -- OR you simply choose not to. 

You'll understand that just because you choose to eat a piece of cake on your birthday (or enjoy cookies, or wine, or anything else on any day of the year)... it doesn’t mean you don’t value your health. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about what goes in your mouth or how that food affects your body. 

It just might mean you are open to exploring every piece of the puzzle when it comes to how you feel.

As you grow in this relationship with self, here are a few important questions to ask:

• Am I REALLY intolerant to X food? (Or, to ask another way, does eating this particular way HONESTLY make me feel better physically?)
• Even if eating this way makes me feel better physically, does it ALSO leave me feeling good emotionally, mentally, and soulfully?
• If you're eating a certain way to get off or stay off medication and avoid side-effects.... Am I considering the potential side-effects of restrictive eating?*

*Christy Harrison talks a lot about these side-effects, such as disordered eating, which is so important because they're not often talked about. Take a listen to her podcast for more. In addition, I recommend joining The Wellness Boulevard today. You will get immediate access to a class taught by myself and Nicole Ness on the side effects of natural healing and restriction. This is important to understand so that you can make informed decisions about treatment. Join here.

(5) EXTEND THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF TO EVERY OTHER AREA OF LIFE.

To exercise.
To the products you put on your skin.
To sleep.
To work.
To relationships.
To boundaries.

We're coming full circle here... because, as we talked about in #1, these areas of life impact not only how you feel but also how effectively what you eat is digested in the body.

This is important because... Why do you want to eat a certain way? Sure, for medical reasons, but dive deeper. Why do you want to eat paleo, gluten-free, or Vegan? 

Most likely, it's because you want to feel better, to alleviate the symptoms you're experiencing, and because you BELIEVE eating this type of way will help you get there. (P.S. That belief is a really important piece of the puzzle. It's another story for another time, but all you need to know now is that you must BELIEVE what you are doing will actually help. Hence why step #1 is so important.)

All of these other areas will affect how you feel and how foods will leave you feeling. This is due in part to stress and how stress manifests in the body. (Remember, stress might show up not as a sense of direct overwhelm, but rather as fear, depression, anxiety, or panic.) The problem with chronic stress is that it signals the body to enter the "flight or fight" response. In this response, it's harder to enjoy food, digest food, and obtain all possible nutrients from that food. 

​This means that, as explained by Marc David through The Psychology of Eating, the metabolic value of a food is influenced by factors outside of the actual food -- things like relaxation, pleasure, and quality all play a role.

We want to look at WHO we are as eaters -- and HOW we're showing up to our lives and our plates. We want to nourish every area of life, to embrace more of the relaxation response and less of the stress response, as much and as often as possible.

In addition, we extend this relationship to the other areas in our lives to address cravings. For example, after following this MERGE method, if you experience physical cravings for a food you don't want to eat... then you want to look at what you're emotionally craving. Nourishment? Connection? Intimacy? Joy? Entertainment? Adventure? Fun? Excitement? Rebellion? 

How can you create THAT in your life? Where else can you find it? 

WHAT HAPPENS AS WE PRACTICE THIS MERGE METHOD?

​We realize that it's not really the “diet” that’s wrong. We are able to become (if we still want to become) one of those people who can follow a "diet", like the autoimmune protocol or gluten-free, and be just fine. We get to decide if we're mentally, emotionally, and soulfully ready for something that looks restrictive. We have a choice to make concerning the diet best for our lifestyles and our bodies. We get to decide if a specific plan is too stressful for the season of life we're in (such as recovery or big transition) — or if it simply doesn’t agree with what we believe. 

We don't have rely on willpower any longer. 
We never have to turn down another party with our friends so we don't have food temptation. 
We don't miss out conversations because we're too busy actively ignoring a plate of cookies. 

At the same time, we get to optimize our chances for healing by living in accordance with the way of eating we most enjoy. 

In essence, we get to find freedom as we practice The MERGE Method. We're finally ready to let two worlds (seemingly at odds) collide. We get to embrace what we love about intuitive eating as well as take into consideration food preferences or sensitivities. 

If you've read all the way to the end of this blog post, then it's time to take the next step and put The MERGE Method into practice. It's time to explore self-care and potential triggers. To let go of diet mentality once and for all. To see what a relationship with your body might look like. And what it means to reject the rules we've been taught for so long. 

Join The Wellness Boulevard today and take that next step. 

You will get immediate access to materials that will help you feel better in days and weeks... rather than months and years. It took me over 10 years to figure this stuff out... 10 years of struggling with frustration, exhaustion, and feelings of failure. Let me shorten the curve for you.