What's missing in many autoimmune healing plans (and how to feel better, faster)

​When we're trying to feel better with autoimmune disease, we often adopt a few lifestyle or dietary changes to complement the treatment we're receiving inside the doctor's office. We're looking at what we eat, how often we exercise, how much stress is on our plate, etc. 

But I've noticed there's one big element that's often missing. In between all of the dietary tweaks, product changes and emphasis on work-life balance, we forget about a part of our lives that impacts how we feel in a BIG way.

You see, most of the changes we're encouraged to make are designed to support the physical body.

We look at the food we give our bodies.
We look at the products we put on our bodies.
We look at the movement we're asking the body to do.

And don't get me wrong, looking at the pieces of our lives that directly support the physical body makes a lot of sense. After all, we're trying to heal from a physical ailment or disease. But at the core of our desire to heal is our desire to feel better. (For many of us, we. just. want. to. feel. better. And maybe, feel normal for a change.)

Yet, feeling good physically is not the only way to feel good. If you're doing everything you can to feel better, and it seems like nothing is working, try adding this into your life and see if you notice some really big shifts that might happen quite quickly!

Try adding in activities that you do solely to support your emotional and mental well-being. 

Not only will these activities affect how you feel on a daily basis -- Are you happy? Are you at peace? Are you content? -- but feeling good mentally and emotionally has also been shown to impact how we feel physically.

(It's kinda a win-win and a place where you can see a BIG feel-good return.)

When we experience something that we don't want to experience (like an illness or physical pain), it's often not just the physical discomfort that causes unrest. It's probably also the things we're telling ourselves throughout the day. It's probably also the meanings we make of those physical experiences.

"I shouldn't be having this pain. I should be able to fix this by now."
"I really don't want to be here and it's my fault that I still am."
"It's not okay to be sick."
"I'm never going to feel better."
"There's always, always, always something wrong."
"This is forever going to be life and I can't take it anymore."
"What's wrong with me that I can't figure this out?"
"How come so-and-so could heal but not me?"
"I wish I didn't have this ailment. I feel like such a burden."

It's these thoughts we tell ourselves about how we shouldn't be experiencing whatever physical discomfort we're experiencing... about how bad it is and what it must mean for our future... about how uncomfortable it really is and how we need to avoid more pain at all costs... about how much we don't want to be where we are... about how much we think we're never going to actually get where we want to go and feel better.

​Again, it's not just the physical discomfort we feel from autoimmune disease, chronic illness and chronic pain. It's also all of these thoughts we have and meanings we make about the pain that really impacts how we feel. Whether we're happy, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, burnt out, tired, angry, excited, hopeful or content... All of these feelings are massively influenced by the thoughts that are running through our brains and the meanings we make of those thoughts.

(In other words, do we decide those thoughts are true and fact? Do we agree with the thought that just ran through our head... or can we let it simply pass without judgment and without meaning?)

For a lot of us, this is all happening without our conscious knowing. We don't actually take a moment to check-in and observe the thoughts we're having. We don't then take another moment to ask whether or not we want to mark that thought as true or let it pass right on by. So, if we're not saying the nicest things to ourselves -- if we hold onto how terrible we feel, how we'll probably never get better, how we're always getting the short end of the health stick -- not only do we feel really crappy in that moment but we also start to physically imprint those emotions on the body.
 
So, yes... We want to look at tools and protocols that directly support the physical body. Things like dietary changes, exercise and non-toxic products. But also, and especially if these aren't working for you, then we also want to look at tools that heal and honor our mental and emotional well-being, too. Not only will these activities likely help us feel better physically (thanks to the mind-body connection) but they will also help us, well, feel better mentally and emotionally.

To really see the difference, take a short test with me.

Repeat to yourself three times over: "I am never going to feel better. I am never going to feel better. I am never going to feel better." 

How do you feel? Angry? Sad? Defeated? 

Then, repeat to yourself three times over: "Healing is on the way. Healing is on the way. Healing is on the way."

How do you feel now? Hopeful? Relaxed? Happy?

Most likely, you feel something different depending on which phrase you're repeating. That's a small example of the power of mindset on how we feel each day.
 
Now, I do acknowledge that how you feel repeating phrases to yourself is somewhat dependent on whether or not you believe (or want to believe) the phrase you're repeating. However, that belief is something you have the power to change. Meaning, how you feel repeating different words and phrases is in your power, too. 

Are you prescribing for yourself a set of activities or tools that are specifically designed to support your mental and emotional well-being?

For many of us, the answer might be "no". Or, we might say something like... "I exercise and that clears my head." Or... "I meditate and that's supposed to reduce stress." And both of these are really, really great tools. But also, are you using these tools primarily as mental and emotional tools? 

For me personally, I've always been a fan of exercise. It was the thing that cleared my head, made me feel better and turned a "meh" day around in about 30-minutes flat. I swam competitively all through college. I was an NCAA DIII athlete. I did CrossFit after I graduate. I've run half marathons. Exercise has always been a huge part of my self prescribed healing plan and that's made a big difference in how I feel. 

But what I've only recently realized was that I was using the physical practice of exercise to satisfy my mental and emotional needs. So that I was using a tool that is primarily designed to support my body physically to primarily support me mentally and emotionally. Meaning, exercise is for the physical body. (The bonus benefits can be seen mentally and emotionally, but it's primarily physical, right?)

I wasn't just exercising to feel great physically. I was also exercising to simply feel good. If I felt "off" one day, I needed to go exercise. If I didn't exercise in the morning, chances were I wouldn't feel good and okay and content the rest of the day. Whether I was happy, sad, excited, joyful, "meh" or whatever else was strongly dependent on what I did at the gym. 

I was relying on exercise to support myself mentally and emotionally. And that was great... until it wasn't.

You see, this is where things get super, super tricky. Because those of us with autoimmune disease and chronic illness may not always be able to take on a physical practice like formal exercise in the ways in which we are used to. I was used to... "Faster, heavier, stronger. More is always better. You've got to sweat to make it count. You've got to work as hard as you possibly can. Make sure to get your heart rate up. Really push yourself to the brink."

THAT was what counted as exercise. Because THAT was what made me feel good. (And I'm not talking physically here.) 

When I could no longer follow these principles in my exercise practice (because my body PHYSICALLY let me know that was too intense for the season I was in), I started to feel better physically but feel much, much worse mentally and emotionally. 

There was a gap in my mental and emotional tool-box and how I could process emotions.

When we look at making lifestyle changes to support ourselves along the health journey, it's awesome to look at all the things that support you physically. It's also awesome to let those changes leave you feeling better mentally and emotionally, too. However, these physical practices need to give you SECONDARY emotional / mental benefits. Meaning, we need to also have ways to support our mental and emotional needs on their own... so that we really can do what's in the best interest of our physical bodies at any given point. (Pushing through an exercise practice because it's the only way you feel okay the rest of the day even though your body needs a break is NOT going to help you heal.)

We need to know that we have non-physical ways to take care of our mental and emotional needs. To process emotions, feel grounded, tap into happiness and have more joy.

(This is also super important because it reminds us that our bodies are not the only ways we can feel joy and content and okay. We are human beings not solely human bodies. When you feel like your body is all over the map, this can be a really valuable reminder.)

When it was time for me to pull back in my exercise practice, I was given the opportunity to explore this mental and emotional toolbox on a much deeper level. I had the opportunity to figure out how I process emotions, feel emotionally stable, have happiness and, simply put, feel really good and okay and safe.

(Side benefit? Activities that primarily support mental and emotional well-being ALSO secondarily support your physical health. They help your body get out of the chronic stress response and into the place where all the magical healing happens: the relaxation response.)

How to support your mental and emotional health so that you can feel better (faster) with autoimmune disease

• Therapy / Coaching / Peer-to-Peer Support

Processing your emotions and thoughts with a trusted (and sometimes a trained) professional is so valuable. One of my favorite therapists in the autoimmune world is therapist Jenna Teague. If you're wondering whether or not you might benefit from working 1:1 with a mental health professional, read more and consider scheduling a complimentary chat with Jenna here.

I've worked with therapists and coaches at different points in my life. I've also found great peer support (and often use the app called Voxer to chat with them) so that I can process emotions with trusted friends. Whatever feels right and best to you, this type of safe, verbal processing can be immensely valuable. Not only can you move through emotions in a safe environment but you can also begin to look at the thoughts you're having and what, if anything, you might like to change. 

(P.S. In no way, shape or form am I saying that your thoughts are creating your physical pain. Your pain is very real. However, in addition to physical pain, some of us are also experiencing mental and emotional pain. It's the fear, dread, worry, exhaustion, anger that we might be able to see, validate, process and, eventually, let go. While this release can reduce the amount of stress in your life and therefore help the physical body, it will also make you feel better all on its own, too.)

• Journaling

The very first step to being able to change a thought is simply noticing said thought. We need awareness for conscious change to occur. By reading this article, you're probably starting to notice the things you're saying to yourself -- maybe about this article and whether you agree or disagree with what I'm sharing, ha! But there are also really active tools you can use to become aware of your thoughts, and shift them, on a regular basis.

One of my absolute favorite ways to do this is journaling.

Here's a really simple exercise to kick you off: Take one piece of paper and draw a line down the center. On one side, write "makes me feel good". On the other side, write "not so much".

Every time you notice a thought that makes you feel good, put a tally in that column of your paper. Every time you notice a thought that makes you feel not-so-good, put a tally in that column of your paper. 

This was actually one of the exercises that one of my mentors first recommended to me because it gives you a really good understanding of the dialogue you're currently speaking to yourself.

• Affirmations and mantras

Sometimes these will come up when I journal, but I also list affirmations and mantras on their own because I repeat these to myself all the time even without a journal nearby. These are incredible tools for shifting energy immediately and in the moment.

(P.s. You don't have to take my word for it! Again, just notice the different feelings you experience in your body when you say something like "Ugh, I am always falling apart and I will never get well" as compared to "My body uses all things for good! This is awesome!")

• Meditation / Yoga Nidra

 I have found that one of the best ways to clear my brain is to actually practice clearing my brain. I love to use a guided meditation or the Yoga Nidra practice inside The Boulevard to help me do this.

• EFT

If I am struggling to move energy...
If I'm finding it really hard to feel better about a certain situation...
If I cannot get out of a "funk"...

I will turn to EFT and it often works wonders.

I don't have specific videos to recommend, because I look for a video on whatever topic I'm feeling stuck around, but I do like Brad Yates on YouTube. Otherwise, I'll type "{insert whatever topic here} + EFT" into Google and see what / who pops up!

In general, these are examples of tools that help you tend to your emotional and mental well-being. 

I cannot overstate how powerful these practices can be. After all, just think about a moment that you've felt unwell in the past. Maybe it's a moment when you're having a flare. Maybe it's a moment when you ate something that left you physically unwell. 

Reflect back and ask: What was worse -- the physical pain or the emotional pain? Was it more uncomfortable to sit with the very real physical pain I experienced... or more uncomfortable to sit with of the things I started to tell myself afterwards? 

I can never get this right.
I'm a failure.
I always do it wrong.
I'm never going to feel better.
This is always going to be something I deal with.
Every time I try, I just don't do things well enough.
Do I deserve my symptoms?

Those sort of thoughts that we typically have after we do something that may impact the physical body... Is that as uncomfortable (if not more uncomfortable) than the actual physical pain?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But, if we experience any emotional pain alongside physical pain AND have a way to process those emotions, then we can relieve at least some of the pain we're dealing with and feel better.

I'd love to know: What are some of the things you do to take care of your mental and emotional health?